By The Daily Bayonet
Al Gore rallied the troops for some Waxman-Malarkey and the Big O issued a report full of global warming doom and gloom, but cheer up, it’s not all bad. A muppet was arrested and this week’s hottie is a real swinging chick, so grab your favorite poisonous carbonated beverage or rainforest-destroying coffee and slide on into the most fun you can have with your glasses on.
Part One: Al Gore & Friends
Is Saint Algore a bogeyman? It’s a good question, and one which the sycophants at Mother Nature Network (no, really) are ill-equipped to ask. An excerpt:
Today, many of the same folks who pushed the invented-the-Internet canard are holding up Gore as the poster child of global warming alarmists. Their basic storyline is that the former vice president is only pushing the climate change “myth” because he’s investing in companies that will benefit from restrictions on carbon dioxide. They also throw in that he’s a hypocrite because he uses carbon — by merely breathing.
I think they’re missing the whole ‘fun’ part of laughing at Al, that the man does not possess a sense of humor. Meanwhile the global warming profiteer prophet is wondering why kids aren’t surrounding bulldozers to defend the planet. I guess Al forgot that bulldozers are like moonbat kryptonite.
Gore-Al cringes under the Krypton SunAll religions need a good trinity, and Al provided the warmists with his own trifecta of blog posts this week. He invited the minions to join him for a conference call to rally support for Waxman-Malarkey, then he under estimated the largest tax in US history as the cost of a postage stamp per day and solemnly announced that Friday’s vote:
… is the most important environmental vote of this generation. If passed this legislation will put us on the road to actually solving the climate crisis, in addition to building a green economy.
And put lots of coin into Al’s business ventures, which of course what this is really about. As Al waits breathlessly to see what happens in the vote, it turns out that his army of volunteers to spread the word of the global hoax is not going too well. Bjorn vs. Al, the tapes: .. Al shows that he is none to keen on being asked inconvenient questions, and the same goes for his global warming apostles at the grandly named Alliance for Climate Protection. The group that is spending Al’s $300 million on the ‘climate crisis’ PR campaign were a little ticked at the media giants at the Phoenix New Times. The climate crisis is able to destroy the planet, but isn’t quite robust enough to stand up to a little criticism. I vote global warming as the most sensitive crisis in all history; it should win an MTV award for being like, the most emo planet killer evah. Democrats ventured to wonder what life might be like in a post-Algore world, but not in the apocalyptic vision of burning glaciers rolling over baby polar bears that Al prefers. Some Dems realize that global warming is not a vote winner and should be dropped from the message. If Friday’s vote fails to pass Waxman-Malarkey’’s Cap and Bend Over bill, expect to see Al Gore under Obama’s bus within the week. Let’s head North now, to the land of the David Suzuki, or Gore-Lite. This week Suzuki laments urban sprawl and the destruction of habitats. Not every one can afford luxury homes in tony areas, but why should hippie Dave worry about the masses?
Suzuki’s Che PeriodSuzuki suffered a melt-down at a PR event when he encountered Tyee writer Bill Tieleman and threw a hissy fit. Bill’s crime was to report inconvenient facts, something that tin-pot dictators like Suzuki cannot stand. It’s funny to watch the weather hysterics like Suzuki and Joe Romm lose their cool as the wheels fall of the global warming wagon.
Part Two: AGW Scaremongers
Green extremists like Joe Romm, Jim Hansen, Al Gore and David Suzuki are turning people off the environmental movement in droves:
Click on over to the Daily Bayonet to read the rest and check out this weeks global hottie!