Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Dec. 3rd 2009

Where is Al Gore’s secret climategate-proof bunker? Has Heinz saved the planet? Does Hopenchangen have a chance of achieving anything? Dive and discover the answers to these questions, and more. Plus, of course a hottie. Because you’re worth it. For Climategate news see the special edition round-ups parts One, Two, Three, Four and Five. For an announcement about a forthcoming poll and your chance to participate, lookee here.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

The Goreacle has been largely absent from the climategate fallout, largely because he’s been, well, hiding. Not only has his precious hockey stick been debunked, but now the whole mess of science behind Al’s personal enrichment save-the-planet hoax has been called into question. What else is the face of global warming going to do when the peasants get uppity? Al blogged from his secret bunker that he was super happy that his BFF Barack Obama would be joining him for Hopenchangen in Copenhagen next week. He also blogged that the time is up for short-term capitalism, but fortunately there is still enough time for you to pay Al $1200 for a book and a handshake, of course. That’s for the cause, not capitalism. God forbid that an ex-Vice-President of the United States of America be pro-capitalism or anything. al bear gore
In the absence of real news about the great propheteer, let’s giggle at some spoof news instead. Canada’s little alarmist totalitarian, David Suzuki, came out in the press to face the climategate fallout, using all the lefty talking points to pretend that the event that has blown their cozy little hoax into a billion pieces is no biggie, really. Then, Eco-Dave makes a mistake, quite a big one:

Sadly for the deniers and for all of us, the emails don’t show that global warming is a grand hoax or conspiracy. They do nothing to diminish the decades of overwhelming scientific evidence that the Earth is not only warming largely because of emissions from burning fossil fuels but that it’s worse than we thought. Recently, 26 scientists from Germany, France, Switzerland, Austria, Canada, the U.S., and Australia released a report showing that the impacts of global warming are occurring faster and are more widespread than other reports from the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change had projected.

Unfortunately for David Suzuuki, one of the the lead authors of that report is none other than Michael Mann, one of climategate’s central figures, which sort of undermines its credibility. Oops.

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

The sea is an unpredictable mistress, in fact she’s a downright conundrum. How else to explain that global warming will cause the sea to rise 1 metre by 2100. No wait, that’s 2 metres, stupid. No wait, my bad, it’s 4½ feet. But the science is settled, see? However high the waters rise, they’ll be warmer, which is bad news for coral and fish ‘n’ stuff. Too bad, if they’d gotten on with it and evolved legs, we wouldn’t have to wreck the economy for an anemone.

anemone of my enemy is my friend?anemone of my enemy is my friend?

Prince Chuckles Mum, the Queen, decides that a life of privilege and undereducation is an excellent platform from which to warn the great unwashed about global warming. Isn’t there an island with natives that want to meet her or something? Moonbats were sighted over Toronto. Nothing unusual about that, except that this was Moonbat Prime. If you’re interested in what he had to say, it’s here in all its Canada-bashing glory. An eco-terrorist is brought to justice. In China. That made my day, honestly.Read the rest over at The Daily Bayonet!

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